Hello hackintoshers.
Great thread, although my solution was unique, and no single solution that I've found on the forum solved my problem.
Here's how I achieved victory and signed in:
I've got a TP-Link PCI Express Wifi Adapter (TL-WDN4800), which works natively, but also onboard Ethernet.
I had to install everything without the card in, then put it in afterward.
The trick was the the Multibeast audio drivers - for God knows what reason. Otherwise - Easybeast simply makes my onboard ethernet disappear.
I tried injecting Ethernet EFIs, Combining Hex strings with my Custom EFI of my video card. What killed me was the jealousy when people's problem seemed to be fixed when they assigned PCIRootUID=1. I couldn't do that - it would shut down my DVI port. Easybeast would solve that issue - but along with it it killed my onboard ethernet.
Some of these steps might be unnecessary:
Install Voodoo HDA audio driver, and Lnx2Mac's Realtek. Remove NetworkPrefs from S/L/P, restart. It should work. If you're using a wireless card, now's the time to put it in. Godspeed, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a working hackintosh, thank you tony and the forum.