Chimera: Apple Logo for a second, then reboot! Help!

[jonahcolor]

Precisely. And my "old Macs" can't even run Unibeast to install Yosemite or El Capitan.

 

[Going Bald]

Precisely. And my "old Macs" can't even run Unibeast to install Yosemite or El Capitan.

OK. Something you might try, but no guarantee of success.
Download iBoot Haswell since your CPU is Haswell
Use terminal or download show all files app and show all files
Open the ISO file with disk image mounter
In the Extra folder is the preboot.dmg file
Open this file with disk image mounter
In the Preboot.dmg/Extra folder is a mach_kernel file. Copy this file to desktop, close all screens and exit the disk image mounter app.

Download the Lion UniBeast and create the installer. Replace the mach-kernel in the preboot.dmg/extra folder in the installer with the one on your desktop. This may or may not work, but is something you can try

 

[jonahcolor]

Currently trying this. I'll keep you updated. Side question: would it be wise to install El Capitan once/if I get Lion installed with Unibeast? Is it stable enough right now?

 

[Going Bald]

Currently trying this. I'll keep you updated. Side question: would it be wise to install El Capitan once/if I get Lion installed with Unibeast? Is it stable enough right now?

Lion is only a stepping stone to El Capitan. Lion will never run well on your hardware and will always require a patched kernel+external boot device. If you can get it working at all go for ElCap ASAP.

 

[jonahcolor]

Lion is only a stepping stone to El Capitan. Lion will never run well on your hardware and will always require a patched kernel+external boot device. If you can get it working at all go for ElCap ASAP.

I actually used Mountain Lion and installed it as a stepping stone to Yosemite. Works great. I will install El Cap as soon as the new multicast is released, I'm a super noob like that..