I'll give it a shot, perhaps there is more I can give you from my end? I really don't know what kind of information is useful to fix this kind of thing. I really appreciate your efforts.
Edit: Closer, hdd spins down, about 15 seconds later the fans do, and 2 seconds late it wakes back up. at least no hard reboot required. I know I dont have wake on lan checked or anything obvious...
Edit2: you mother frucking genious. after unchecking restart after power failure (i swear i read that was supposed to be checked) it works!!!!
you got a donate url or something? I love you!