You can only use the recommended memory for your motherboard and CPU. Typically server memory would be ECC (Error Correcting) and is a little more expensive (but not ruinously so). This means that the odd memory bit flip gets caught and corrected.
Some systems, such as ZFS file servers are very, very, very picky on memory and ECC memory is more or less a mandatory requirement. Desktop clients don't tend to need it, though there is no reason not to use it (money aside).
AFAIK your motherboard/CPU will determine whether or not you use ECC. I'm not aware of it ever being optional, also I *think* that certain CPU's demand it as well but not all.
I'd check very carefully about which Xeon CPU you have, which motherboards support it and then and only then work out which memory you need to buy as it could be an expensive mistake to make.
Rob.